The Gift of Privacy
All psychologist, therapist and theologians agree, with out time each day to calm, peaceful privacy, a time to adjust to the world and its changes, the human mind simply fails to reach adulthood.
Many times selfish invasive people will tell us we must pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend, or that we must open our homes to who ever knocks on the door, or even worse must share our deepest feelings about personal subjects that are really no bodys business but our own.
When folks do this to us, often they are someone who would rob us of not only our adulthood, but also our self esteem right to autonomy .
Many organizations, companys and social groups lower our adult freedom in this regard the moment we join them.
When a person or organization does this, they never have our best interests in mind, in fact just the oppisite.
To be a whole person we must have a high degree and honored by others "Private Space" that no ones invades.
All great thinkers, philosiphers, poets and adults share this right and use it to become calm, free of events that we must process and disgard, and therefor loving to others.
Man, wife and child, at one time or another all need time alone that is not questioned.
One person we know commented, that they had noted sometimes folks had insisted on getting to know him out of the blue, only to reject them latter because he would not attend their church or join their political afiliations, this kind of behavior is toxic and has a element of predation in it.
There is a line on the ground that no one has a right to cross, no matter what they say to gain access across it.
All people must learn to protect this line or we will fail to reach our best adult selves and thus perish as adults.
All happy adults have learned they have to have a comfort zone free of disrespect, solicitation and explottion.
Jeremy Bentham said something all adults know is true
"Our ability to enjoy being alive, is in direct perportion to our ability to have confusion free time alone, and reach those personal understandings with our soul that makes us become free to love ourselves again, and have self joy"
Here at the palms we have a saying--
DON'T LET ANYONE IN YOUR HEAD UNLESS THEY PAY RESPECTFUL RENT TO BE THERE!
It's a funny saying, but a well taken point by the wise, unless a activity adds to your sense of worth and safety, evict that activity from your comfort zone.
We should never let someone convince us what is personal is public, anyone who trys to convince you of that is a dangerious person.
The facts are these, we do not have to answer personal questions we don't want to answer, such as religion, politics, or even the arts. we do not have to post our most personal needs and likes on the net, we do not have to let strangers into our personal space.
The same rule is true of people who fail to keep appointments, do not return borrowed things, or keep promises, and break confidentualities
People who do such things should be rejected because something is wrong with them and we should spend no time trying to understand or fiqure out why they act wrongly, although almost always they are letting someone treat them badly so they treat us badly.
Almost always without fail.
But what we only really need to know it is best to put distence between them and us.
Good people always enjoy letting us have our personal space respected and kept free of confusion.
Sometimes in a world where many people would take advantage of us, our happyness is no larger then our ability to close the door to others who would guilt us into opening it, and once in our personal space, do harm.
The private personal space around us is only for safety, serenity, love and beauty, and it is our responsibility to protect it.